This moment, am listening to the song "So Goodbye".
So I named this post with this title. Meaning? Beats me. This post of mine today supposed to be a very paramount one, to me.Simply because this is the first and last blog since I left my blogger world before departing to uni,with unspeakable feelings. Nevertheless, I started it with numbness, in this breezing afternoon.
Pathetic? I guess.And you are the crux of my numbness. Frankly.
Yea, I dont give a damn.
This song keeps repeating in my lil mind. Cant stop listening to it. Some memories just colonized my lil brain. Especially after some pictures clearly appeared and flash over my eyes.
Back to the purpose of blogging today. I have completed my first semester in my uni. Like it or not, I ve undergone every moment of my uni life with laughter and blessed smile. It isnt a choice, it is a decision. I got strength from everyone who loves me. Appreciate what am gifted.
Blaming myself for abandoning my blogger world as it is such a huge waste for not jotting down every single second and moment I ve gone through on that piece of land where I have never thought of going. And of course, lots of pictures are not able to be included in my lovely EyeMine. Wasted.
But, please allow me to defend myself, my life is indeed damn busy, even now during holiday, am still on duty. Events are awaiting.
You know what, the people I have met, the experience I have assimilated, the love I have felt and the tiredness and exhaustion I have experienced,they lighted up my life. From study stuff to event management to gorgeous friends and housemates, I have a great uni life. Growing up? Yes. Affirmative. I have never felt like this before. Its so much different from the me in years ago. Participation and involvements which my mommy wont ever expect me to do.Doubt, what has changed me. No doubt, nobody and nothing. I changed myself. Perhaps,no changes at all.Or these are what I really keen to do.
Some people and some lessons taught me to be calm and determined and strong. And only smile can bring calmness and peace in deep heart. Agree or not, I dont know. But this is how a pair of Eyes look at the world. This silly girl,looking the world.
Life is short. One semester in a land which I have never been to and far away from family, I encountered countless sucks things as well as wonderful scenes. Its my learning stage. Life isnt easy man. People surround me are leaving one after one,it is so real and those heard from friends indeed made me chilled. Afraid? Nope. Yes. Perhaps. Afraid of losing people I love. In life,we never know what is the next piece of chocolate we are going to grab from the chocolate box.
Somehow, one day,I will overcome myself and accept the only thing that I have not accepted yet,till today. It takes time. I pray.
Just to appreciate what is gifted and fated.
We cant change, " But we've to question."
Throughout a long conversation with my beloved bro,this is what deeply imprinted in my lil mind.
We have to question. And I have too many questions,yet to be answered.
But sometimes,knowing that they arent going to be answered, I created my own scheme.
Still seeking for some kick to back to my EyeMine. Have too much to express.And thousands of mesmerizing pictures taken during uni life are to be kept in my lil world.
Finding myself is more keen to express my feeling to the persons I love,nowadays. My lovely roommate once told me, perhaps am a "Word person". Perhaps. Theres a person who taught me to speak more of sweet talks. Sweet talk, but they are true and sincere when they are spout out from me. At least, people are pleasant with the words, sometimes. And you know what, it is blessed when the person you love smile brightly when you say that to them.
Thats is why I told my bro that I miss him during the Xmas night,which I never said that to him before. Give me clapclap,Kor :P
But you will never imagined how a silly girl singing aloud ,telling the world shes going home.
While every grown-ups asking me the similar questions when they meet me after so long, I replied with the same answer,“Am okay and everything is fine.” Yet, I see the satisfactory smile on them. And these are my honor.
Drenching in the rain of love, thank you for loving me. Pray that coming learning stage would be a funky,challenging and comprehensive one. For now, let me look you in my eye.
Wishing to get back my kick in my loving blog. Waiting.
One day at a time.
So I ended my words with the song "Times of Your Life " by Joanna Wong.
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Collect the dreams you dream today