In a box

Friday, 27 December 2013

Questionable. Questions.


Questionable. Questions.

I don’t used to blog when am in campus.
This is the first time I do it right here at this place I have indulged so much.

Cause I can imagine how worse the scenario is over there, yet I can’t help out anything.
Prayer seems less convincing right at this moment.
Suddenly I feel a strong emptiness and bored. Regardless of how strong I am.






This song astonished me today.

Sometimes I try not to talk
And sometimes the words come out right
And sometimes I speak like a child 


I can’t help anything. I do not know how, which I have seldom been through like this.
Being a person who stands on own in every single thing, I don’t use to tell the deepest in my heart. Laughter just veils up everything. Life challenge can collapse me Au fact, but I have made that decision to go on.


It wasn't  a choice, it was a decision.

I question a lot. Uncountable questions are in my mind even when am sleeping.
There’s a saying that everyone is a philosopher, even when you lay on the ground and scratch your head, asking
“Who on earth I am actually?”.


You question, you think, you are a philosopher. 



I have asked so many questions that exposed me to too many truths and made me came to a realization that, I won’t ask for more.
Religion. Rights. Relationship. Leadership. Parental. Upbringing.
Even, death.

I have questioned and made too many thoughts on these.
I have to admit that many people attempted to answer my questions which I appreciated so much, even thou I still couldn’t get the answer to answer my questions.
Guess I am undergoing a great metamorphosis in both thoughts and actions now in the second year of my degree.


                                                    But my feelings have changed
                                                          It all seems deranged


When I question on religion, when I answer on death.
When I question why religion could be a barrier and eventually a consideration to give up starting on many relationships.
When I question why some of the LGBT friends are still being looked one kind by the community. When I see the leftover on the tables and the lil cats are urging to eat them and the boys are ignoring them.

When I see people are eager to pick up fame rather than working out for the people.
When I see that a single trivial things can become an issue among religion.
When I realize people are seeking for fame rather than learning to be good and professional leader in every opportunity.
When I see that some feelings are fading and ambivalence comes all along.






I feel it, my leb.

I'm still holding on
But my feelings have changed
It all seems deranged that I stuck here
Alone in the dark
And you carry my heart
As we're playing our parts 


When I question, I won’t get answer. The questions are just don’t designed for answers.
I know these questions are ambivalence, but they are thinkable.

You may ask me why I think so much on the value of religion, because religion overwhelms humanity.
No doubt. This is neutral. Thinkable.
When I was asked by my respectable lecturer ,duirng a conversation with him.
"So what religion are you in?"

I guess my answer gave him a pondering moment. And I believe, having such answer gives me so many questions today.



I couldn’t expect more on certain part and people, since I couldn’t give in much.
But I really question a lot.

Working hard alone isn’t easy task, fighting with self-ego in dark isn’t a peaceful errand, struggling with internal rationality is never a worth doing thing, questioning on my own freedom, wouldn’t give me any rescue.



Sometimes I dare to be weak
And sometimes I try to be strong




The more I encounter, the further I move on. From my daily encounters, in my organizations, my studies, my conversation with the grown-ups and colleagues, as well as the heart-to-hearts.

That I wouldn’t ask for more.

I gave up, I missed up. I couldn’t tell more that sometimes life is just a dart to me.
I try to throw it the way I aimed but I simply sway away. We couldn’t choose on getting arrived in this world, we can only choose to live out a life. 


When I was in a game, we were told to write down what are the things we think of want to throw away and do not want to see it in the coming New Year.
[Being too forgetful and forgiving]. I wrote. A superficial one.

So I think being too understanding is not a wise way. They love me well,

They told me to live my life to the fullest.
They told me not to be too understanding towards others.
They told me problems are meant to be solved.

They told me not to be too good and soft.

They told me to consider myself before considering the others.
They told me to go on without any worries.
They told me not to give up pursuing my dream.
They told me they are proud of me.
They told me to walk my obligations by all means. 





So I question. and questions came back to me.
I don’t know when do all these questions are going to be answered.
Perhaps there would never be, but at least I let them know, they are so many questions that we ought to question but people just taking them for granted. 


The more I question, the more I learn.
And this learning would never cease. 




When I look into the answer, I wish for the earnest ones.
Backing off is never my choice because I have learn to give myself a chance.
Until when I have given up on the worthless hope. 


So we know, life is never a definite answer.
Don’t tell me how devoted you are. How intelligent you are. How wise you are.



Live a humanly life.



I mean it. 



Sunday, 25 August 2013

Thursday, 22 August 2013

好难得 那些天


不是三个白痴的故事,是一个人的故事。


于是这次的假期即将在明天结束。明天的这个时候,我在飞机上。

听上千遍的[好难得]和[一个人不可能],知道了自己不舍得回去的原因。
回去,一个人了。
纵然心里依旧知道,太多事待我去实践。
完成不完的挑战。


还有的是,
[矛盾]。
我没回应的那一次。
不是矛盾,只是不想知道那是个矛盾点。

于是,这次的假期我又长大。Level Up?

工作和学习。认识和认知。

说说这次的工作。与上一份工作截然不同的工作,秉着凡是皆有其意义的信念,我在这份工作里头找到了说多不多说少不少的智慧。人,事,物的智慧。

人类学的伦理始终萦绕在脑髓提醒。
社会学的知识始终围绕在心房警惕。


际遇和学习。
和教书不同的性质的工作。



每段故事的主角,在脑海里留下足迹。



我们拥有各自的方向。
这里聚集了来自不同方向的我们。
一起学习
工作
合群
[放吃]




这里的许多故事许多背景。
我们聆听我们学习。
社会的缩影。


我能确定的想念。
这两张面孔。


常说凡是必然是注定的。
如果是你的,最终还是会是你的。




最后一天的今天,短暂的相聚。
好聚好散。
但是绝对不会是速战速决的认识,
对吧?
因为趣味相投而聚集的健谈和欢乐
谢谢你们
好好照顾自己
因为我们距离太遥远

在我们身上
我找到不同层次的成熟
我们从彼此学到了不少
下一次的相聚
还是那样的我们



吼。

Wednesday, 21 August 2013




STORY -- THE SCORPION

"An old man saw a scorpion drowning and decided to pull it out from the water. He calmly extended his hand to reach the creature. When he
 did, the scorpion stung him. With the effect of the pain, the old man let go the creature and it fell back into the water. The man realizing that the scorpion was drowning again, got back and tried to rescue it but then again it stung him. He let go of it again.

A young boy standing by, approached the old man and said, "Excuse me Sir, you are going to hurt yourself trying to save the evil-vicious creature, why do you insist? Don't you realize that each time you try to help the scorpion, it stings you?"

The man replied, "The nature of the scorpion is to sting and mine is to help. My nature will not change in helping the scorpion."

So the man thought for a while and used a leaf from a nearby tree and pulled the scorpion out from the water and saved it's life.

MORAL LESSON:
Do not change your nature. If someone hurts you, just take precautions. Some pursue happiness while others create it. Let your conscience be your guide in whatever you do."



Saturday, 17 August 2013

好难得


"缘分只是自欺欺人的天真"

‘……不是你走在前面,是你觉得后面的人走得太慢。‘ -文雄

我懂得。

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Challenges


                           

     " A boat is safer in the harbor,
     But this is not the purpose of a boat ”
                                                               -Paulo Coelho


Monday, 12 August 2013

Give the Heart A Break - SG


So a week after the trip to USS with mommy, am back to SG with my loves.
Again, random decision.

We are there.
With ourselves, our own selves.


It was a short journey
a real short one
but the feelings are there
cause we are ourselves
we enjoyed ,
the moments

The entire trip was nice and calm and full of laughter.
Like what we used to be.


And this is the main highlight of our trip.
*Grin
Believe me or not,
there were six of us,
girls

and thanks so much for the grilling!



 We talked we walked we laughed
until the time urged us to the separation
with the cute lil girl and her kind friend.



So they are the ones.
you laugh the most with
 you talk the most with
no matter
where we are

Just too love this picture
its just too real and funky!

We were tired
and blessed.


Till we bade goodbye to this girl
we know theres a belief:
friends are always the ones u are most comfortable with.

Another ten years.

Give the Heart a Break - USS


Give the heart a break,the freaked heart.


So I decided to take a break.
With these people.
 Random and firm decisions, after much exhausting messy stuff in my mind.
And I know, life is just too short.
Just do it the right ones.

So am back to this land
with a playful heart to Universal Studio Singapore.








From Hollywood to the 3D Shrek,
it was funky and fresh.


Shrek impressed me and brought me back to memories.
He was part of my assignments in my course.





and this is the only regret, it was not in operation on the day I went.
too bad and i missed it.
The not-too-scary ones are just not enough for me.


My studies conquered me.
The mummy make me thought of AnSos.



A boat round to the Madagascar underwater world.



 It was a sunny day.
My mind was just at ease.







Riding on this carousal with mommy.
My loved monkey, ops, he was reading on a press! 












Yeah it was fun.