Thursday, 1 October 2015

这不是个选择,是个决定。

幸福是一点一点积累的,是一天一天经营的。不要去伤害喜欢你的人,也不要让你喜欢的人受伤害。一个人就算再好,但不愿陪你到老,那他就是过客。一个人缺点再多,但能处处忍让你,愿意陪你到最后,就是幸福。人人都想找个十全十美的爱人,可人总有缺点。爱就是相互忍让,彼此真诚,共度一生。有个让你一辈子开心的人,才是生活的目标。

当一切拥有和执着成为一种伤害时,放弃便是最好的归宿。谁又能理解谁的多少痛苦;谁又能懂得谁的多少伤痛,泪,没挂在谁的脸上,谁不知道它的冰凉;伤,不在谁的身上,谁不知道它的分量,或许,你能看到眼中的泪花,却不一定能读懂心中的悲凉,或许,你能看到身上的伤疤,却不一定能理解心中的忧伤,在落泪以前转身离去,留下华丽的背影,让心灵轻松地上路。

摘自http://mother-lov.blogspot.ca/2015/09/5_26.html



我们充分地珍惜最后一次聚在一块儿的时光,
虽然也许真的那么一天,只是生命中的一个插曲,微不足道的插曲。


01.10.2015 
三个月十二星期的实习期在9月30日凌晨十二点结束了。 我在报告里头以那么一句作为结尾:

Last but not least, thank you, thank you and thank you to all who have given me 
knowledge, encouragement, advices, care, confessions, lessons, and happiness. 
It is a great time for a stage of growth. 

蠢还是敢,一线之差。报告对吧,我的感想最为重要不对么?

好快。也让我知道自己原来对离别厌倦了,是成长的另一个阶梯。厌倦不是残酷,是磨练的狠心。倘若不舍,那拥抱会更难分开。那追逐会更激烈。
呗书书,我爱你。

决定离开公司选择硕士这个很呗的名词的最后一天,呗书书似乎知道我将离开,乖巧的依偎在我的怀抱里。那是一种疼爱,爱护。一段缘分。我无法能再抱着她,让她吃猫饼喝着从公司一楼里窃来的白开水。但这是个决定。这也让我想起了在六月份突然离开我失踪的狗WooWoo, 当下我知道至少她先离开我,好过我留下她独自回家去。

忆起曾经和Ah Yeong 与 Anna聊天时提过,二十三岁不再是你我可以嗤之以鼻的数字。

"是个责任。说的每句话都是个责任。"

当时,在驶着车的蓉毅然点头赞同,娜则捂住耳朵不情愿明知是道理却不愿赞同的可爱脸。

【责任】。

阿界慢慢长大的掌心。

工作。亲情。感情。

在这三个月里我的眼眸注入了新的知识,领悟,脸庞,笑容,眼神,注视,激动,思考,是另个新的篇章。而现在我把这些收好,接着行走接下来的路途。我知道日渐繁冗的责任意味着每做一件事,每说一句话,每想一个构思,每做一个决定,都务必把错误降到最低。一旦错了,立即想解决方法。这既是我在那个痛心因过失而得自动地赔偿时刻告诉自己,不论原因是什么,就是错了,心疼破财也罢,该负的该付的我会做。

当他们语重心长甚至怜惜到生气我又蠢又固执的硬性格,那股凡事自己扛拒绝他人帮忙的死性格时,我看到了自己。老板与我促膝长谈关于我在公司去留的课题时提及了对我的观察:
“独立,思想独立,有能力;但是有时候,必须让自己的路好走,尝试接受其他人的帮忙。不要自己一个人。”

当下我的脑海是怎样的想法,我似非似懂,那好比当那晚他向我透露他对我的感情时那种释然却怀疑的思绪。感激也是一回事。蠢呗,总是过头感恩,回头看自己,像妈咪说的:“你一直可怜别人,谁来可怜你?”

感激的是,在他们眼里的我是正能量的;而然,理性却总是拉扯着内心对赞美的崇拜,甚至将一个又一个赞许拒绝。

这些天走在数不清几公里的路上,树儿们最真实的只有陪伴与聆听。

听着的【可不可以不勇敢】细数着我心坎里的每个羊肠小径,说着我多么压抑自己的强迫。我不敢去证实自己的快乐,却一味设身为他人。久了厌倦找上门也不奇怪。你无数次问我:为什你不早点出现?我的答案依然是每个出现在我眼前的人固然有他她的意义。好的,是精彩;不好的,是经验。

“快乐的秘密,是握紧那不经意撞见的美好时刻”,如果握紧了,会永久吗?直走吧,朝着我要的明天,走吧。

你说的希望不要走,我听见。不安不确定总是在脑海里指示,提醒我不要回头。

昨日在诚心的夜晚结束,而今天我脚下重新踩着学术味儿的Chuck Taylor。

这不是个选择,是个决定
This is a not a choice, this is a decision.

不带走一片云彩。


Sunday, 20 September 2015

Dudu. Adudu.


Good morning sunshine. 
                 A beautiful ray of bliss was captured while having breakfast with sista and browder.

Was wandering in Daiso Mid Valley Megamall when Nicky told me that Dudu was able to speak, last night. Until today(while I was having a break from this blog post, Nicky sent me a photo showing Dudu was able to joke and speak to the visitors: Nasrol, Kak Fai, Mama Bear and another friend of his.) Such a great news to everyone and a very delightful relief, don't ya think so? 

A very blissful picture sent by Kak Fai to Nicky. 


Dudu's accident was a very heart-aching news to us. It happened on the day I was hit with another heartbreaking (perhaps?). Falling down from the stairs with unstable grip on the rope caused Dudu to be taken to Hospital Ampang immediately and was in a very critical situation. By the time I was told on this, the first thing I went to his Facebook. That morning at 3 am we were still receiving his Whatsapp message regarding on ICE. 5 hours later he posted a picture showing he himself and a few comrades locating at the top of abandoned Highland Tower. Thought of "What the hell is he doing in that abandoned and dangerous place?" came up to my mind. Various scary and fearful pictures flash over my eyes and suddenly I felt so painful. We all know how he could always be distracted with his handphone and camera. That's why.

Okay, put aside on the friendship chapter. All we know is Dudu is a very passionate photographer and fine art artist. The period he went to Schlumberger for his Internship, he told us in Whatsapp group that he has lots of stories to tell us. Well you have better back on track, you promised us to be our cameraman on convocation okay. Hahas. We can imagine how he could fell down in a circumstance that all his roommies and cousins who were walking ahead him were safe and sound. Only him was hit with mishap. Brain injury isn't a trivial matter. 

It is a very heart aching news when you know your friend is lying agonizing in the wad. I was fear and worried. It reminds me on a traumatized experience on my lost of friend years ago in High School. A very kind hearted Indian friend of mine, Tanusha. I remember how  I crossed my fingers tightly, stood beside her cold body, speechless and fear with feelingless face all along the way back to HS.
(Blog post on late Tanusha on http://dodoeyeris.blogspot.my/2011/07/tanusha.html)

We pray that Dudu is safe. Nicky and I then keep each other in the loop. But somehow we did not want to annoy the others like Kak Mei Mei and Abg Kery who went to visit Dudu. All we could do is wait and pray and plan if there is a chance, Nicky would come down from Kota Bahru and I will go up to Ampang. Many of our friends were asking in shocked after seeing my picture in Facebook and Instagram, how could it happened?They were shocked. Many friends of Dudu came along to visit him and keep the others updated. Kak Mei Mei was one of the messengers for Nicky and I. Sincerely thank to her for being a helpful sis.

Now he is able to speak. Rest assured this is positive, isn't it?

What came into my mind was when we were sitting in the canteen of SMK Tatau, Bintulu in the past April. He came and called me to get back my seat, "Makan dulu, jangan gila kerja boleh tak?" Followed by the laughter of Nicky, Fredo, Boy and Nisa. That was the time when we all got to know more about he himself whereby he is always seen as a happy-go-lucky person.

I laughed in bliss. The bond between me, Nicky, Dudu, Fredo, Nisa and Boy(Flona) were established tightly during a voluntary programme UNIMAS Gives Back: Youth of Borneo 2.0. No offense, believe it or not, we name each other "Nok" and Dudu could be the head of the group since he is always the most annoying one, hahas!

Back to the time when I know Dudu was in 2013 when we were both involved in Minggu Aluan Pelajar 2013/14 under Bunga Raya College. He was always neatly dressed-up in the morning and came down with his Crocs green signature sling bag everyday during MAP. Together with other team members he contributed so much especially in helping BRC to defend the victory of BRC in statue building. The LOs were awesome and indeed, Nang Antap. It was my first time being LO under Abg Salihin and Abg Norsyam as well as Kak Mei Mei.Very precious moments. That was the time I got to know Dudu. But the real bond was rebuilt even better since Y.O.B 2.0 and we all created so much memories after MAP 2014/15.


He started to mess around with us on the first day of Y.O.B 2.0 road trip.
 This was taken at Serian. 


Dudu is always the camera mastermind. You don't have to worried that you would be left out of nice remembrance.

During our trip Oya Homestay at Mukah, he sat in the living room with his lappy, editing the photos. A joy maker indeed.







To a certain extent, we could say he is a very crazy friend Hahas! He grabbed us for this series of photo shooting, occupying the middle passage of entire coconut plantation and told us to change our Facebook profile picture. The winner was determined by the one with highest click of Like. 




 We ended all works at SMK Tatau, Bintulu after a week of voluntary work. 

At SMK Julau. It was the first school we visited on the first night. Excitement and perfection arouse in my mind, wanting to accomplish my obligation. Being the main organizer, I was very proud of them that they were always with me, despite they have akin or even more similar experience than I do. All of us were/are LOs and very experienced event organizers/participants. This is how we learn from each other. They would stand by me, waited for me whenever I was away to make arrangement for the team. That is why, group photos are always six of us. Except.... Boy who always busy around with his anak hayam. HAHAHAS!


And how he became the scandal with our driver, Spencer. Hahas!


Writing about Dudu is a way to pray for him while all his Muslim friend are having their way of prayer for him. And everyone's prayer was heard. Dudu is getting positive today, he is such a strong person. So you say the concept of One Malaysia does not need to be too hardcore, we never bother who you are when it comes to problem and mishap. What we mind is humanity.

Fredo and Boy are Iban, Nicky is a Siam-Kelantanese Malay and Dudu is a Malay. Nisa is a Sarawakian Malay. But wait, what ethnics you are is never an issue, honestly I am still unsure on some friend's ethnicity. Shall we make friend without knowing what ethnic they are? This is what supposed to be! We are different in age and field but when we are gathered to accomplish a task or to share, we walk in a line. From Civil Engineering to Plant Science to International Economics to Art Management and Anthropology & Sociology until Fine Art, when we are under one roof, we talk in our language.

Well, what life teaches us is to learn from everything. Dudu's incident tells us many many debris of lesson. One of the most important messages is, please treasure your life.  Everyone in our life gives a significance to us, regardless of whether you are close to him/her. One once told me, to define whether you are [closed] to a person, isn't measured by time but by the quality. Some friends could be good friends though knowing each other for a year, but some ten-year friends aren't good friends either. A pity? Nope, all it needs is just some league and kick when confronting with the person in your pupil.

Whatever it is, what concerns me the most is how you perceive on the term [friend], no matter who is it, you would definitely feel a ripple of unwell and heart ache when any form of misfortune hit on any acquaintance around you. Perhaps no for you, but at least a yes for me. Empathy and sympathy are different things.

Sincerity and humanity surpass everything.

Hope to see you all soon, Nokss!


Friday, 18 September 2015

Sing me a rain



All it takes:
Two days time, 
One night of deep sleep,
Ambivalent feelings,
Undefined vagueness.
Denied anger,
One Solera Ice-cream.

Are you okay? They ask in concern. 

And I smiled,
feelingless, like usual.
No more grin or revel smile .


These two lovely feelingless totems were taken during my trip
with Wafa to Pasar Seni on 12th September 2015.
 They are steady and still. 
Hey, Totems, can you cook me some rendang now?



驾驭内心贪婪的红绿灯


哲学家之所以成为哲学家全权归于她(他)的思想。 没事我们也来想想。至少上哲学课的时候这么的觉得却也没顶顶跟着这些思想家一起多想了一些。没有他们想的那些道理,哪有今天坐着颤抖捉头皮死命让自己聆听(毕竟真正感兴趣且愿意学习的在这个披星戴月的年代简直是屈指可数)然后把这些尊贵思想家所想的道理记一遍然后考试时再写一遍。

好呗,这些道理,你领悟得到,就是哲学,反之,它们对一些人而言是泛泛之谈。




Taman Sri Muda 折返 Kota Kemuning 的替代路线。


搭着T530 返家的每一天,我都在想。

那天,我顶着忙碌一整天已经白目了的眼眸还有快撕裂的头颅,看见十字路口的红绿灯。突然感应到:

红绿灯与人的关系,好比宗教和人。

对于宗教我一直有着的是不置可否的世俗观念。凡俗化和世俗化的把教育从宗教中分离,分割出来。世俗是门知识。而人类的解放则是透过这门知识从而得深入一层的蕴意。

接触人文科学以来,我一直秉持着宗教创造人文社会,还是人文社会开启了宗教的篇章。撇开历史(历史也是人写的),字面上我一直执著的认为人类与宗教之间存在的只有一个关系:依赖和克制。贪婪的人类依赖着一个建构出来的宗教以好给自己一个“不太过分的犯错”。

换言之,人们依仗着的是一个被自己迫着去屈服承认的信仰。如果没有了正常操作的红绿灯门儿呀,有多少人会自动自发的循规蹈矩,老老实实地礼让着其他公路使用者?并非没有,但是,少之又少。 于是又于是,红绿灯成了“控制"人儿们内心里小魔笛的工具,遏制了潜意识的鲁莽,造就了被压制的"规规矩矩”。

好比, 你说 "我很想朝我这背弯上刺个青,可是......我的宗教是不允许的。''
抑或, 你说 ''在我的宗教里,吃喝嫖赌是错的,是个罪 / 孽。''
还有还有,你自信的吹擂你要捐血,理由是:'' 在我的信仰里头,捐血是可让我上天堂的积德方式之一。''

道理就是,与其说你捐血是在爱别人,不如说你其实是自私的在爱自己。 自私的。 
我重复,自私。

你爱你自己多过你想去爱你眼前的这个人。自私。

字面上看来是一个信徒对自身宗教的虔诚没有错。但蕴义却是我不得不否认的”压抑“。人们对自己内心自私的压抑。没错,这就是[宗教]在许多人脑浆里的[用处]。他们会拍拍胸膛说:没有宗教,人们会失去方向;没有宗教,人们会犯罪。

于是,宗教成了一个操纵[欲]的标杆。人们成了其他人们诠释出来的宗教的傀儡。不是否认人神共存的实与虚,而是正视人们内心里被压抑着的贪婪自私无耻和......贱。

说白一点,与其在意撒手人间后是否上天堂下地狱,不如在世时多爱万物多做好事。你我不敢承认的其实就这么一点:人们死后,还是自私的想[享受]。好比许多人在世时已经绞尽脑汁为死后铺排,要土葬要立碑要购买风水好的灵位等等。转头想一想,人固有一死,要重于泰山,不意味着铺张。你好事作多自己爽就好呗。

红绿灯和宗教的对照,不置可否。




我们家"无界"没有宗教,被姐姐哥哥带回来时也是在一个嘛嘛档友善的想和几座穆斯林同胞食客打招呼,却被嘘嘘的嘘走。阿界没有宗教,他根本不懂宗教不懂samak,他的宗教是生存和成长。还有,吃喝拉撒。简单 。没有自私。

我们和他玩,他和我们逗;我们爱他,他爱我们。

你没办法去给你的爱,因为那内心的自私,在牵拌你,怂恿你让有可能爱你的人离去。

言毕,是时候走了。


Friday, 21 August 2015

That Tough Decision will be a Tough Jouney


Another phase of my life journey was taken an oath today. A decision was made and the talk was walked. A step of next milestone was started.

Yesterday was a dream, today is a result. How many times the debris of words playing in my mind, telling me : Don't give up your dream just to please a person. 

The night I cried by the roadside, a lady came out from her massage shop, looked at me and passed me a box of facial tissue. How blessed I was, looking at her and I smiled. I stood up after a cry war and self struggle, walked to her and said, "Mdm, Thank you,". The moment I walked in the dark and busy route, my heart was struggling, very very painful. 

I have been losing myself, to please the authorities. When everyone is telling to be "a little bit mean" and "bad", I asked myself, why should I tell myself to do so? 

" Because you are way too kind."

They whispered to me. My mommy, and the person I talked to when I cried and walked without knowing where should I head to. "You are just a kind girl," said the two ladies. 

To a certain extent, I do not know if I am good enough, after all people saying " Good job, Iris!" to me. Those  times I was devalued, I felt helpless, hopeless and selfless. I have never living the life I want. This is not a romanticized saying but a cruel bloody truth.

The moment I shivered and ran out from the roar of blaming and screaming upon me, I couldn't feel myself. The feeling was interesting and strange. Stop scolding me, stop scolding me, I repeated. 

I wanted to be a bad girl, that night. Thinking of staying at McDonald but wasn't sure whether it is a 24-hours McD. I regretted to be a good, kind girl in those days when we were supposed to be rebellion.



Blacky the pretty cat cheers me up every morning, giving me a bling of smile from the bottom of my heart. Feeding her biscuits looking at her, is such a beautiful memory to me.



Everytime I talk to people, I feel happy, even they are rude or impolite to me. Really happy. Times like that I train myself to hold back all kinds of temper or anger, but to talk back or write back nicely. Time gives me a precious growth in talking to others learning to look at the beautiful part of others, but I ended up being the most nothing-at-all victim. Well, at least I look at the world with a beautiful heart.

An open-minded person, should have a open heart too. Open minded doesn't mean westernized, Americanized or whatnot. It is how you look at others with a beautiful heart. 

This tough decision of mine, will be a tough journey. Go on, Iris. There's no way back.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

A Lil Reason to be Happy, Everyone is Beautiful Today.




A beautiful morning bus T530 ride to work. Rainy cloudy morning. Everything seems so beautiful.




A lil reason to be happy when I finally get the chance to treat myself a nasi lemak at such morning stall. Gerai tepi jalai. Suddenly I asked myself: "Why the thrifty life? Eat something full, Iris." (But right after this I bought myself bread for tmr's lunch. Useless.)

Mommy used to buy me in all Malay stalls when I was in hometown and I miss that shoo much. Here,this is the first time I see an Indian pretty kind kakak selling. Look at the Indian utensil jag and many types of dhal curry. So I treat myself with a typical nasi lemak with telur goreng. I said sorry for I dont have a small note. 

Then I walked far away to another grocery shop to purchase for two breads. After I got the change I told the uncle with my silly polite smile,may I get one ringgit instead of green RM 5 note cos I wanna take bus. He smiled and said Okayy no problem (with his head shaking hahas). Then I walked back crossing the beautiful flowery road with two young browder sweeping the pinky flowers and they smiled in bliss when I gave them a smile with appreciation, back to pay the kakak for my nasi lemak. 



The beautiful pink flowers fall from the trees, accompanied by a pine tree behind them.

A taxi driver who was having his "self-service" by the stall taking white dhal,smiled at me and said "Yes?Anything?" 
When I reached office and came out to feed Blacky the black cat with biscuits, the Indian aunty and Chinese uncle passed by and smiled politely,

Everyone looks so kind today. People are beautiful this morning. Even the bus driver nodded his head contentedly when I told him thank you, being the last person who got down the bus and the only one who said "Terima kasih bg."


Mommy, this is nice. I send you my regards from here. Hehes. RM 2.50. 




Tuesday, 11 August 2015

The Men, Bus Stop Sri Muda



Having the 730pm T530 bus from Sri Muda back to Kota Kemuning has become their daily routine. Befriend with all RapidKL drivers and talk around. Sometimes the white shirt smart casual with Jeans and brown shoes handsome very fatherly-look uncle call me to get up to the bus, with very cool style. 
I remember during my first ride in that bus from a totally strange place to another totally strange destination via a extremely strange road like a zombie ride,I was telling myself this is an opportunity to learn. Ask. So, after some distance, of course am sure I was in the right bus, I asked him when he was going to get down at AEON Big section 32. I asked him in Mandarin,

"Excuse me,Uncle, Jalan Anggerik is somewhere nearby here right?"
"Anggerik? Anggerik depan. "

Till today, this was the second time he asked me, "Do you speak Mandarin?"
"Yes, I do."

Today he added some more lil questions which he seldom want to (because I was just arrived in the rain and I greeted him), like
"You know Hokkien and English?"
"Yes I do."

And then he told his friend with an artist hat, "You may just speak English to her what." Very friendly smart uncle, a retired man or what idk. Have been living in KK for 15 years. Looking at them, I feel like they have a painting in them, with many colours, some have been faded, fading and some are bright, like they love their every day routine and conversation as well as interaction with people around them.

Well I have never comfortable with people thinking am a Banana or sort of thing like that, proud no definitely. A Chinese should be fluent in Mandarin, no offense, at least this is what upheld and taught by my family on me. Am always appreciate my mommy who sent me to a SJKC(which initially wasnt her decision but eventually mommy made a sharp change in decision). Root. This is why I love languages and sociology.

Friday, 7 August 2015

Jeopardized Buzzer




I wish I could measure happiness
like the real estate appraiser, valuing the property.
Ain't life is simple? No, perhaps.

Life is a trap.
You have never choose to be existed,
Life traps you to the eternal world.
You are tied up by money.
You are tied up by houses houses houses
Double storeys semi detached houses banglow
Four wheels chariot
Premium
Salary Wages

You look into the reality
Like you could measure the happiness
Aspirations raises
Frustration tag along

Confidence and abilities fade away
A piece of nil
Devalued

I wish I could measure happiness
after all most terrible disasters hit upon
a jeopardized buzzer
a jeopardized buzzer
a jeopardized buzzer


If I could smile like I always do
That was times ago
Either I have never tasted happiness
For I have been a jeopardized buzzer



1601
07082015


Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Nomophobia: Look at me, please! (Review from Short Series "Modern Family")

Link Blog from turtletouille.wordpress.com

A new term has been coined to describe the problematic attachment many have to technology:

“Nomophobia” is the strong and irrational fear of being apart from
your phone. The website Nomophobia.com offers a test titled 
“Are you a nomophobe?” (Parenteau, 2014).

          Parenteau (2014) states that technology plays a vital role students like you and me today. Often, it can be a superb assent to help you in accessing information and brush up your work efficiency.

“Using it too much, though, can prevent you from accomplishing
 anything and have harmful psychological effects. 
Go ahead and use your favorite devices for work and play,
 just try to not get too attached ” (Parenteau, 2014).

        Try to look around, what are your friends doing when the lecturers have not entered the classroom? What are they looking at when they are waiting for the food to be served in the restaurants? What are the students doing when they are walking back from lecture hall to their college? No doubt, they are on their smartphones and electronic gadgets.

         The video on Modern Family reflects the true colors of the global contemporary families, both nuclear and extended family. The video postulated much realistic daily behavior by our society today via the epitome of Claire’s family. To a certain extent, the story is presented in a sarcastic manner to show that the society nowadays is overwhelmed by the attachment on technology especially on the telecommunication gadgets that they actually do not realize that the rapport between them has been gaped.

         The short story started when the mother of the family, Claire was at the O’ Hare International airport. While waiting for the boarding time, she grabbed her time to have a short interact with her husband, Phil Dunphy.  Before she left for the trip, he had a fight with her eldest daughter, Haley Dunphy. Thus, she utilized her Mac Book to send messages to Haley to ask if she is still mad at her.

       Before she could have received any reply from Haley, she started face chat with her husband to talk about their daughters. While having face chat with Phil, she opens the online news to read on the latest news. One current social behavior reflected here is the multitasking behavior carried out by most of the people today. Not only that, people is getting relied on the “To Do List” in our laptop, like Claire. In fact, the dependence on this shaped some over rely on oneself over the technology. In other word, we will forget on the routine with the absence of our “To Do List” in the laptop.

         On top of that, the video also shows us that the indulgence in telecommunication devices that the Dunphy’s family that they are ignorant of the others’ presence. The uncertain respond by the father, Phil Dunphy when Claire was asking if Haley was at homes shows that the family members do not even notice whether the others are around or vice versa. Instead of spending time together, they spend more time on the Internet and personal communication via the social media. For instance, Phil does not even know that Alex Dunphy, his second daughter was actually sitting right behind him at the kitchen for some time because he was too indulged in the video game.

       Not only that, the video reveals that the Internet creates a virtual platform to express our emotion. Like Claire, she started to be enraged when her message was not replied by Harley. She then assumed that Haley who had a fight with her before this, was still mad at her. She started to change her “tune” in the message by saying that it was just a small matter and blamed Harley for being too dramatic. In this case, we couldn't deny that Internet creates a chance for people to express their emotion via words.

         The word “DRAMATIC!!!” written in all capital words with three exclamatory marks reflect Claire angry emotion and the sense of appointing the anger to Haley. Worth mentioning, the sarcastic part here is, during the fight, Claire even took the video when she was fighting with Harley and that has triggered Haley’s nerve. In the older Chinese proverb, there was a saying that, the ugly side or bad side of family should not be published to the outsiders to protect the reputation of the family. However from here we can see, the modern family has changed. The value of a family has transformed.

        On the other side, Alex Dunphy, the sister of Harley was also on the face chat with her mother, Claire. She has become the middle person between Claire and her Haley when the messages of Claire to Haley were not replied thou they are delivered.  As a student, Alex was requested to send her essay writing on Netzshe culture through the Facebook Inbox Message. This indicates that the parents monitor child’s work through the internet, instead of Face-to-Face.  Not only that, we can see that Alex was actually neglected by Claire due to the fight between Haley and Claire. While Alex was sending the essay to Claire, at the same time, Claire was trying to stalk the latest updates on Haley using a fake Facebook account named Brody Kendall since her daughter has not approved her friend request on Facebook. She did not really pay attention on Alex who was trying to explain on her paragraphs.

         Another scene in this video is that signing up a fake Facebook account to stalk others’ updates seem to be a trendy stuff nowadays especially among parents and children. But let’s ponder, doesn't this significant a gap of trust between children and parents? Why do the children refuse to approve parents’ friend request on social networking and at the same time why do parents need to monitor their children through a way which provision of privacy take place?

         Via this video of Modern Family, we found that this is a very modern trend nowadays which actually brings us pluses and minuses.

        In some of our readings, there are several arguments on the attachment of students towards the technology. Taking the instance of E-readers or some relevant devices designed primarily for reading e-books which have taken the world by storm, which has explored onto the marketplace in recent years (van der Velde as cited in Read, Robertson & McQuilken, 2011), some purveyors of E-readers claimed that the traditional books or paper books are “dead” and online technology is leading the future. Hence, some researches are focusing on this to examine the e-readings consumption and evaluation in the context of academic readings (Chu as cited in Read, Robertson & McQuilken, 2011).
     David et al. as cited in Read, Robertson & McQuilken, 2011 states that the premier model used to study the consumption of technology among readers is the Technology Acceptance Model (TAM). The study on TAM has received both applauses and criticism which includes the neglect on the impacts on the emotion of readers in order to adapt to the technology adoption. This model aims to see how the readers adopt the technology and what emotion impacts they have in this. Simultaneously, Yun (2013) has the similar study which he identifies and understands the consumers especially for the sky rocketed high popularity of digital gadgets. In his research he wants to determine the tendency of relative obsolescence which involves the substitution of a product regardless if the demise of its perfect functioning.

       On the other side, 2012 EDUCAUSE Center for Applied Research Study of Undergraduate Students and Information Technology has also rated that a laptop emerge to become the most extremely essential tool for academic access where 85 percent of students has voted for it.

        Many students utilize technology to do their schoolwork—to access documents provided by teachers, to do research, to write papers, and so on. To most, the right technological device is essential to getting work done.

       You see, technology has penetrated the students’ life. They just can’t leave without laptop. In fact the use of technology on academic can bring pros and cons. As stated below,

“Technology use can also be a major hindrance to students,
however. All the quality information the Internet can provide is useless
if it is lost among page after page of outdated, misleading, or just
plain wrong “information” turned up by your favorite search engine.
The Web is also, of course, full of time-wasters.
Fall into the black hole of Facebook or BuzzFeed,
and the hours you had meant to spend working
on a research paper have vanished” (Parenteau, 2014).

References:
Parenteau, D. (2014). Are you overly attached to technology? Retrieved from http://xpress.sfsu.edu /xpressmagazine/2014/10/29/how-widespread-technology-use-helps-and-hurts-students/.

Read, W., Robertson, N. & McQuilken, L. (2011). A novel romance: The technology acceptance model with emotion attachment. Australasian Marketing Journal, 19(4), 223.

Yun, Y. (2013). Understanding product attachment and expected product lifetime by extending technology acceptance    model (TAM) with product personalisation and innovation diffusion theory (IDT). United States: ProQuest LLC.

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

The Society and the Education




080215
两则新闻 · 杨静
Was astonished by this article. The journalist has written a simple but real article which shows the true colour of society today.

 
Talking about the attitude of two mothers from UK and Malaysia respectively.
The former young mom carried up her child from her side and let him to sit on her lap,on the LRT,so that the other passengers can sit. She told her child to keep his voice low so that he wont disturb the other passengers. A simple and inspiring parenting we can see. 

 
While on the other side,the journalist shared her experience which she encountered in the ladies during her visit to a shopping mall during Thaipusam. A young mom bringing her child. The child took excess toilet tissues from the tissue supply box. Right after that,his mom did the same thing. When the journalist went into the toilet after this mom and her child what she saw was the unused tissue thrown on the floor.


I was astonished by this article because this is a common social behavior indeed. During my mommy's visit to Kuching last October,I brought her to Merdeka Plaza. I went into the ladies at 2nd floor. I was about to take a piece of toilet tissue,but a 20+ girl walk ahead me,pulled the tissue abruptly,pulled and pulled for a very long one,without looking at me nor the tissue box. She was looking at her Iphone. I was stunned by her fast and ignorance,thought she was going to pass motion and thats why she took so many tissues without hestitating(or she was in a hurry,I thought). But when I looked on her phone,she was on her farm game. And lil did I know,she wasnt needing the tissue for her business,because before I had done without me pee,she already came out. You know,where did the loooong tissue gone to.

So you know why the tissue box in public often empty.

The society and the education.

How Rubbish Got Her Name



310115 
While human create the name of "rubbish" for rubbish,signifying unwanted,junk,garbage or something awful... and human create these rubbish so that the name of rubbish fit them. 
Human actually know,what is awful and whats not,but they are doing an awful scene au fact.

Picking up rubbish along way or clearing up rubbish is a daily habit of mine. 

Got on a bike and went to this garbage site. Looking at this,I got down from my jingle bike,carefully pour the wild grasses(mom's work out at garden)on the grass ground so that it could turn into fertilizer.

The biggest problem of men is,they know the garbage workers are going clear up the next few days. Taking things for granted,you know. Something like,um,you throw your rubbish everywhere,inside or outside your apartment,expecting one of your samaritan housemates or the kind hearted makcik cleaner would do you a favour whenever the rubbish overflow. Or like,you throw your dirty clothes in the laundry bucket very naturally, because you know your mom is going to get them and wash for you. Like that.

So you know,how rubbish got her name.

Friday, 22 August 2014

Talk with your Eyes


Finally here comes my night. Night alone with words.
The only way which am with my own self. It has been a long time since I buried myself in such silence night with the embrace of music. Some living things who follow my blogs may know it.

So everything is eventually saturated as the departure day is just a day away from me.
Summarizing up what have I gained in this almost-two-months long break, I would say that everything is about learning.

This is a slightly different holiday to me. Slightly relaxed as I have just retired from the positions in Uni. Its the moment to witness the performances of juniors who handed over my batons.So my friends here almost pulled my ears and asked: Why are you going back so early again this time? Are you seriously involved in the Uni events again? 
Yes I am. Should I hashtag MAP here? No. I dont. You dont make noises before you work, even after you work. 

Work in silence, let your success be your noise. 

You learn in everything. Started my holiday with my third part time job as a tuition teacher. Back to origin. You dont say much, you do. So I have completed another " training" for two months. Leveled up. Thanks to the kids, they taught me a lot. A lot. Everyday is lethargic but fruitful, well you know how much you could do for these kids, unlimited. I want them to learn every single fragments in daily life which, might be missed out by their parents. I did what am passionate in.




So on the second month, my aunt sent me a Whats-app message, asking me if I could teach in Sis' centre in KL before I am back to Uni. It was a real short notice and I was not able to help out. Well you know, you are carrying many planning and mission, as a daughter. A companion to mom, a final year student to the supervisor, an employee to an employer, a teacher to the kids,a patient to the dental doctor and returner to the nature. You just, have to be well-planned. Everything.

Look, you need to be well-planned. And you observe, everything, everyone. Even you are blind.

Well, what make you change?
First, you have learnt enough to be what you want to.
Second, you have been hurt enough that you have to.

You may wonder why and why is this life has been in what way to you. Stop lamenting.

So the UPU result was released a week ago. Not surprisingly, many juniors of mine contacted me like they used to be.
Every single sigh and question is familiar and so understandable. Dear sisters brothers, this is the beginning. You can be successful, wherever you are, Harvard or the shabbiest Uni in local.
You can, when you want to.


This is not bullshitting,  but what I have learnt in my two years time on another beautiful earth and my beautiful Anthropology and Sociology course.
Of course, I would hold on my cliche, I shouldn't be where I am now, you know what I mean. But I respect my choice and am doing my choice a respect until today. And my achievements make some noise. Learning.

Looking back at my cheek, well it is the final year of mine. Flipping over the proposal of my thesis and opening up all the mind maps in my mind, you know everything is on the run. Tonnes of things happened over the past months, regardless on the family, self or the country outside there. You know life is just a blow of thin air,fragile but essential. Come again, Essential.

Things just happen to be happened.Some are shitty some are just fine. You cant tame everyone.
Confessions, talks, words, promises are no longer trustworthy, you gonna learn. So everything makes you ponder. Tragedies happened, and people went away. The only thing you should do is Think. Think and do.

Like I said, I have interacted with various kind of kids. Gifted to be the last child in my family, it does not deprive my understanding on them but I have been attempting to give my knowledge to them.  One single thing I have learn from them is True. Children are true indeed. But dont, dont expect True in your daily life. It turns out to be a different thing. You dont tell me how much you appreciate, or you needed. Sarcasm takes place instead.  Be true, if you want to be treated the same way.

Do your obligation will do. Spend less time on some less nutritious thingy. Learn. Well I know this is subjective. But there are so many buts in life. You just have to observe and ask. Like what I asked myself this morning, why do we need the Humanitarian Action to make certain restriction on wars. You just cant answer. Like I used to ask myself while I was a kid, why people are selfish and self-centered? I stop questioning myself when I know, there is no answer for this question. You just can be somebody else.

Do your job. Be a human and talk less. Money and words cant buy eternal hearts. You dont love people for nothing. And,your dont earn respect for nothing.


Talk with your eyes, the eyes of your heart.

The tragedies taught me so much. Have you learnt ?
The souls are at peace, today 22nd August 2014, on our motherland. 
We mourned and we pray everyday. All God take care of the rest. 





Thursday, 3 July 2014

Don't fool around with your [Religion Pass]


So I believe, God, all the God would not blame me or punish me for not worshiping Him, or them. Whichever god, I believe all the god love me.

For I know, my love to others have exceeded, no one can surpass mine. At least, don't let me down.

For I know, God wants human being to be good in humanity, not in the sense of how devoted you are to the god.

When Dr. Peter asked me,

"So what's your religion?"

"No, I don't have one. I respect every religion and I believe every religion wants us to be good. Humanity comes first."

He smiled.

Don't tell me how devoted you are, but you spit out rubbish to human and betray your friends and fool your friends and sound at your parents and give a death to animals(even a lil bug) and glance at the makcik cleaner and give an ignore to the rubbish in front of you and you talk hurtful words to your students and mates and elders and you throw the untouched food into the dustbin.

You know what, how I encounter these. To certain extent, religion doesn't give you any rescue for your shitty attitude. Don't swear to me under the name of God, swear under your true heart.


Disappointment and pain overwhelm. It has been almost two years. Yes, am now a step to my third year of degree, and am getting matured as time goes by. Daily experience grow me up. Anthropology and Sociology brush me up to think further. The epitome of society is where we are now, the University, you see all sort of people. Encounter numerous experience and a diversity of human- selfish, fake, self-centered, seeking for fame, seeking for name, bitchy, rascal, yeah I know, not all are negative ones,some are warm and nice.

Nonetheless, you know, you can't find a true heart. It is hard, it is tough, it is impossible. The more you expect, the more disappointing it could be. I just don't give a damn if am placed in the Hell after my death, for what I know, I do my obligation when am having my breath, regardless of towards human or animals, all creatures on earth.

While everyone is curious about my religion, nope, I don't have one. An exact one. It doesn't mean that I have zero direction and lost. Believe it or not, there are people who don't even know why they need a religion. Well, no offense.

"I respect every religion and I believe every religion wants us to be good. Humanity comes first."

So I repeat.

Religion are supplement to me. You gonna do your part as a human first. I believe all the god, Lord Jesus, Buddha, Allah, and other folk belief god love me, at least they won't blame me for not being a devoted follower of either of them. Cause they know where I place my heart and where I dump my love.



Being too caring and considerate has made me suffer most of the time. And now am doubtful for all the hearts whether they are true or fake. I just, ponder. Those promises are rubbish, those words are shitty enough that am disgusted indeed. Au fact, am not being sarcastic, but it's a fact, irritable fact.

Who can treasure you more than you treasure yourself?
Who can love you more than you love yourself?

Doubt.

Everyone has an evil in their heart. I don't deny. Sometimes people just allow the demon to wander too much, they show the devil in them.



They seek for fame, they forget the true hearts that are holding for them. They cling on the people who are far more beneficial than us, they forget the promises that are made together. Those are the trauma that preoccupied my lil mind, for now and then. It was so hurtful and yet I opted to forgo.

They seek for help, they ignore the true hearts towards them whenever they are in need. They turn their head and walk away when your holding on big rocks. Ignore.

They release their emotion freely without knowing how hurtful it is to the person, they forget how they could come to where they are now. They ignore everything now and leave the obligation behind.

Human. Human.
Do your part as human, regardless of a student friend daughter son, you don't need to have a Buddha's Heart, but the basic is, you need a human heart.
你不需要一颗菩萨心, 只要一颗人理心。

So you tell me, what is the role of religion here? Tell me.

Humanity comes first.

Fool.
The moment you fool me, you're fooling yourself.